When Belonging Feels Out of Reach

Kwame’s story is not unique, yet it carries a truth that many hesitate to share. He moved into a new neighborhood in Columbus with high hopes for his family. The houses were well-kept, the schools were promising, and the streets carried the energy of possibility. On the outside, it looked like the perfect place to belong. But on the inside, Kwame felt like a stranger.

His lifestyle simply did not match the rhythm of those around him. While neighbors met on weekends for cookouts, games, or church socials, Kwame was either working overnight shifts or recovering from exhaustion. His accent marked him as different, and his modest clothes made him self-conscious. Over time, a silent question began to echo in his mind: “Do I really fit in here?”

The weight of this question grew heavier when his children began noticing the differences. They compared themselves to classmates whose families seemed to have more freedom and leisure. “Why can’t we do what the other families do?” they asked innocently. For Kwame, that was a piercing reminder of the gap between what he longed to provide and what circumstances allowed.

For a while, isolation felt easier than rejection. But one Sunday, Kwame gathered the courage to step into a local community center where parents met to exchange resources and support one another. At first, he sat in silence, scanning the room. He assumed everyone else had it figured out. But as stories unfolded, he realized something profound behind the smiles and small talk. Many families were struggling in ways he never imagined. Some were battling job losses, others carrying the weight of medical bills or the stress of rising rent.

It was then that Kwame understood: the picture-perfect image he had compared himself against was not the full truth. Slowly, he began to share his own journey. He spoke honestly about working night shifts, the sacrifices made to keep his family afloat, and the quiet guilt he carried as a father. Instead of judgment, he was met with encouragement. His resilience resonated with others. What he once viewed as a barrier to belonging became the very reason people respected him.

Kwame’s story holds an important lesson. Fitting in is not about changing who you are to mirror those around you. It is about standing in your truth and finding the spaces where your story is valued. Authentic belonging begins not with perfection but with honesty.

From a mental health perspective, the struggle to belong can weigh heavily on self-esteem and emotional stability. People who feel out of place often experience anxiety, depression, and a sense of inadequacy. Yet, as Kwame’s journey reveals, these feelings can be transformed when individuals are willing to share their authentic selves and when communities are open to receiving them. Belonging is less about conformity and more about connection.

In every society, people carry hidden battles. When we stop comparing and start connecting, we discover a powerful truth: no one truly walks alone. The strength we fear makes us different is often the very light someone else needs.

Belonging, then, is not found in changing who you are but in finding where your story fits into the greater human story. As Scripture reminds us, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Society may not always reflect that truth, but it can not erase it.

Kwame’s story is a call to courage for anyone who feels out of place, for any parent questioning their worth, for any worker carrying silent burdens. Your place in society is not determined by appearances. It is defined by the resilience, love, and authenticity you bring.

A Call to Action

As communities, churches, policymakers, and neighbors, we must recognize that belonging is a shared responsibility. It requires safe spaces where people can be real, affordable housing that allows families to stay rooted, workplaces that honor different rhythms of life, and schools that teach our children empathy instead of comparison.

The true strength of a society is not in how well people “fit in,” but in how well people are embraced. Let us build communities where no one feels like a stranger in their own home and where diversity of lifestyle, culture, and circumstance is seen as an asset, not a barrier.

Because when belonging feels out of reach, hope fades. And when belonging is restored, society thrives.

By Ambassador Dr. David Rex Orgen, Best-Selling Author and International Mental Health Expert