When the Shoe Is on the Other Foot: The True Test of Empathy

When Life Turns the Tables on Us

Life has a way of humbling us when the tables turn. It’s easy to speak about forgiveness when we’re the ones asking for it. It’s easy to talk about patience when time is on our side. But when the shoe is on the other foot—when we’re the ones wronged, waiting, or misunderstood—our true character shows.

The Nurse’s Story: Learning Empathy Through Pain

Dr. Orgen once met a young nurse named Lydia who had spent years caring for patients who complained, yelled, or simply refused to cooperate. She always told her colleagues, “You need to have compassion. People in pain don’t mean what they say.”

But one day, when Lydia herself became a patient after an accident, everything changed. She grew frustrated with the slow response of the same system she once defended. The waiting, the needles, the noise—it all tested her patience.

Later, she admitted with tears in her eyes, “I didn’t realize how hard it was to be the one lying in that bed.” That moment of honesty revealed something we all struggle with: empathy often fades when comfort leaves.

How Comfort Affects Our Capacity for Compassion

In relationships, we judge others quickly for what we think we’d never do—until life hands us their circumstances. A parent might criticize another for how they raise their child until their own child goes astray. A manager might question an employee’s emotional burnout until stress knocks at his own door.

It’s not until the shoe fits our foot that we truly understand the weight it carries.

Dr. Orgen’s Lesson: Empathy Beyond Sympathy

As Dr. Orgen often teaches in his wellness workshops, “Empathy is not about feeling sorry; it’s about remembering that the tables can turn at any moment.” When we pause long enough to imagine ourselves in someone else’s place, our words become softer, our hearts more understanding, and our actions more humane.

Remembering How It Feels to Be on the Other Side

If you’ve ever been on the other side—misjudged, overlooked, or struggling—remember how it felt. Don’t forget that feeling when life moves you back to the side of strength. Use it to be kinder, slower to criticize, and quicker to listen.

A Call to Action: Be the Person You Once Needed

Today, take a moment and ask yourself: Am I the person I needed when I was the one hurting?

The world doesn’t need more opinions—it needs more understanding. Let’s wear each other’s shoes with compassion.

By Ambassador Dr. David Rex Orgen, Best-Selling Author and International Mental Health Expert