Losing Your 18-Year-Old Child in a Car Crash

Abena often called her son, Kojo, the light of her home. At eighteen, he had just completed high school and dreamed of becoming an engineer. He often told his mother, “One day I’ll build you the house you’ve always wanted.” His future looked bright.

One Saturday morning, Kojo left home to meet his friends. Abena reminded him to be careful. He smiled, hugged her, and said, “Don’t worry, Mum. I’ll be back before dinner.” Those were the last words she heard from him. Later that day, a phone call changed everything. Kojo had been in a terrible car crash, and he did not survive.

The house became painfully quiet. His room stayed the same. His shoes remained by the door. His school books sat on the desk. Every ordinary thing became a reminder of the future that would never come. Like many grieving parents, Abena replayed that morning again and again, asking what she could have done differently and why God allowed such pain.

The Weight of Losing a Child

The loss of a child is a grief beyond words. Parents expect to see their children grow, graduate, build careers, marry, and start families of their own. No parent expects to plan a child’s funeral.

Many parents are told to “be strong” or “move on.” Others hear words meant to comfort but that often deepen the pain. The truth is that grief is not something you simply get over. It is something you slowly learn to carry. Healing does not mean forgetting. It means learning to live while still loving someone who is no longer physically present.

Signs of Unresolved Grief

You may be struggling if you keep replaying the tragedy, blame yourself for things beyond your control, avoid talking about your child, lose interest in life, isolate yourself, or feel guilty when moments of happiness return.

Walking Toward Healing

Healing begins when you allow yourself to grieve without shame. Tears are not weakness. They are love expressed through pain. Share your child’s memories when you can. Accept support from trusted family, friends, your faith community, or a professional counselor. Be patient with yourself. There is no timetable for healing.

Some days you may smile. Some days you may cry. Both are part of the journey.

If you have lost a child, your grief reflects the depth of your love. Your tears show that someone precious mattered deeply. Choosing to live again does not dishonor your child’s memory. It can become one of the greatest ways to honor their life.

If you know someone who has lost a child, do not assume time has healed them. Reach out. Listen more than you speak. Say their child’s name. Sometimes your presence is the greatest gift.

You are not walking this road alone. Your pain is real. Your love is real. Your healing matters. One step at a time, hope can still find you, even in deep sorrow.

By Dr. David Rex Orgen, Best-Selling Author and International Mental Health Expert